There is sooo much going on when a child reaches their teens.
Teenagers today are under enormous pressure—from school, social media, relationships, the dreaded hormones, expectations, and their own inner world. Anxiety in teens is more common than ever, and it’s not a passing phase. It’s real, it’s loud, and it can be overwhelming.
But here’s the most important thing to know:
Anxiety doesn’t have to run the show.
What teens often don’t realise is that they have far more influence over how they feel than they’ve been led to believe. They just need the right tools—and the permission to use them.
One of the first signs of anxiety is what I call high thinking.
This is when thoughts start racing, looping, or spiralling. Everything feels urgent. Everything feels too much. And before long, the body reacts—tight chest, quick breath, fidgeting, stomach knots.
Teaching teens to recognise when they’re in this state is key.
It’s not about “calming down.” It’s about checking in.
When teens can pause, name what they’re feeling, and understand that it’s a temporary state—not who they are—they’re already starting to regulate.
Self-regulation isn’t a big, complicated process.
It’s made up of tiny, powerful practices done regularly:
Checking in with themselves several times a day: “How am I feeling? Where’s my breath?”
Stillness practice—even two minutes of eyes-closed noticing can reset a busy mind
Breathing tools that shift them from panic into presence
Head-clearing routines at bedtime and on waking, to reduce overwhelm and prepare the nervous system
These tools build resilience, confidence, and emotional awareness. They don’t remove anxiety—but they give teens agency in how they respond to it.
The good news? These are all things I teach—gently, patiently, and in language they understand. There’s no fluff, no pressure, and definitely no judgement. Just everyday tools, for their everyday life.
Because once a young person learns to self-regulate, they feel stronger, safer, and more in control of themselves—without needing to control everything around them.
Anxiety doesn’t go away on its own. But neither does a skill like self-regulation. Once it’s learned, it stays.
And that can change everything.
— Rebecca x